Tag Archives: Sorrow

Monsters

She stood contemplating
In the tranquil of
The baleful night.
Goodness got dissolved
In the dark depths of
Immorality and irrationality –
They were but decadent shadows!
Growing stronger in her head
With every tick of the clock
And there she was
Creating monsters
With a broken heart
And a troubled mind!
With conflicted ideals
And misunderstood emotions!
Ridiculed by people!
Ruptured by life!
Abandoned by her kin!
Alone in a hopeless strife!
A misplaced veneer
Of self-righteousness
Imbuing her beyond the realms of sanity
With vehement force
As they aggravated
Their presence inside her …
The devilish fiends!
Wilder, heavier, stronger
With blood on their hands
And vile on their faces;
Without further ado
They took control
And she maneuvered herself
To decide his destiny!

Him, it had to be him.
The smiling face angered her!
The sense of responsibility
Was too much to bear!
How could he be so proper?
How could he be so peaceful?
Every detail of his existence
Erupted flames of envy
And her soul burned
Her world of anarchy
Was threatened enough
To wake up the evil inside!
Time to let go …
Time to wreck havoc …
The monsters were summoned,
Breathing malice,
Itching to cut lose,
As she closed her eyes,
Shook her head,
Tightened her jaws
And wrapped her fingers
Tightly around that shiny object!

In that pitch black alley
The deadpan stillness
Was broken by the howling screams!
Blood trickled down
The garbage man’s neck
As he collapsed on the trash
Which he was about to take out.
The wind hissed.
The dogs barked.
The stink of the muck around
Surpassed the odour of sanctity.
As he breathed his last!

She was nowhere in sight!

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Unrequited … Ill-fated …

I walked a thousand miles

In sombre solitude

To reach the very core of your heart

As close as my conflicted mind could allow!

 

I poured a thousand gazes

At your gorgeous self

To drink in your audacious beauty

As much as your sensitivity could bestow!

 

I thought a thousand times

Just to be sure

My poor and wretched soul

Was in love with a princess, beautiful!

 

I wrote a thousand letters

Only to tear them up

As it seemed a story too good to be true

But eventually I found the courage to do the inevitable!

 

I knew I was late when I saw you:-

As you held his hand;

Unaware you walked past me as you beamed

And I stood there helpless and forlorn!

 

I uttered a thousand prayers

As I wished you happiness

While I got drowned in sadness

And away you went; then … you were gone!

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The Brooding Magpie …

Money can’t really buy         Joy and happiness as I

Stand amid the riches galore         With your face in my eyes …

And I don’t know why         Your thoughts make me cry,

I feel helpless but         To smile I indeed try …

 

Ignore me and no! I’m not high!

I am just a brooding old magpie!

I am just a griever with hapless silent sighs!

 

I failed to realize         You were the one in disguise,

In my pursuit to fill my purse       I let you go; I am the darned unwise!

And no words can ever suffice       As every moment a part of me dies;

The loss that I incurred …         I did pay the heavy price …

 

Ignore me, oh! you want to know why?

I am just a brooding old magpie!

I am just a griever with hapless silent sighs!

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If Only …

If only I could tell you

How much I have lost!

If only I could tell you

What has been the dear cost

Of all the battles that I’ve fought

As I stand alone bereft

Of all the niceties that had once defined me:-

Would you take me for real?

 

If only I could tell you

The joy I feel when you’re near!

If only I could tell you

How much I hold you dear!

Words cannot define my feelings

That I have for you so sheer

The love bursting out of my fragile senses:-

Would you let me in just for once?

 

Alas! I cannot express and I don’t know why …

With all my earnest endeavors, I try and I try …

Cut me open and I bet you shall see:-

The one who loves you, the real me!

Give me your love, sweetheart, let it rain,

As I make my way to the final walk down the lane …

 

If only I could tell you

That I’m there only for few days;

If only I could tell you

The hole in my heart has got me swayed;

No matter how much money I pay

It can’t get fixed as I wait for the obvious …

Would you take me to your arms and kiss me once?

 

If only I could tell you

That every moment I crave to be with you!

If only I could tell you

My love’s as pure as a nascent drop of dew!

I want to share with you my deepest darkest fears;

I want to share with you my struggles through the years;

Life is short and I laugh at my predicament:-

Would you be by my side and let me live again?

 

Alas! I cannot express and I don’t know why …

With all my earnest endeavors, I try and I try …

Cut me open and I bet you shall see:-

The one who loves you, the real me!

Give me your love, sweetheart, let it rain,

As I make my way to the final walk down the lane …

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Confessions of a Wounded Soul

Dreaded nightmares launch a scathing attack

On my subconscious craving dreams sweet!

There’s a lot of crash and burn around

Futile efforts to find peace, I can’t, not even a bit!

 

The clenching fists of depression

Bludgeon my senses with brutality profound,

Breaking the shackles seems impossible

In so much negativity I find myself drowned!

 

The failures of the past create a raging fire

Gutted emotionally, I am hopelessly fragile;

And I thought that my hopeful endeavors

Would keep me agile for an extra mile!

 

Baffled and bewildered, I plead to my creator.

That’s the only option left to me now.

The age old perception ingrained deep within the heart

That the ethereal savior would save me somehow!

 

Swimming up the dark depths of the abyss

That has engulfed my life to the fullest:-

Such a daunting proposition, as helpless I stand;

One last fight; I have to give my best.

 

The ruthless falls did break my back

But I refuse to die, I refuse to die!

A ray of hope, a hand of mercy …oh I so crave!

A brave-heart I’m not, but to hang on I’ll try!

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Goodbye!

She watched him being lowered down in the casket,

As he helplessly lay down, still as a stone;

With a cigar in his breast pocket and a bottle of rum by his side

These would be his only companions from now on,

Now that he’s gone!

 

That he had raised her was an understatement;

He was the best father in her eyes.

Catering to all her needs and showering her with love profound

He was always there, since her mother’s demise.

Oh! How much her heart cries!

 

She could feel an excruciating pain

Like a thousand knives rupturing her heart!

But tears betrayed her as she stood there entranced,

And they thought she was hiding it rather smart:-

Inside, she was torn apart!

 

She felt guilty as she wanted it to end!

The sickness did rob him off his life’s bliss.

The agonizing, never ending battle with the devil’s very own, cancer!

She hated seeing him wrench in pain that would never ease

Now, he rested in peace!

 

There in the casket, there was he, so serene, so calm,

He was at his handsome best, like every day!

And like always she felt that the blue tuxedo suited him the best.

One last dance with her on his feet … Alas! No way!

As he was away!

 

She kept on expecting that he would wake up.

Stroke his moustache and sport a beaming smile.

And she would run to him with all her heart and take refuge in his arms,

If only he could stay with her for a while

And walk another mile!

 

And then he was lost in the soil and mire.

Lost forever, much to her anguish as she sighed!

The wind blew as she poured in the last drops of earth on to him.

All chocked up, she uttered after an agonizing try:-

“Daddy … Goodbye!

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