Tag Archives: numb

Memories of Farewell Songs

Memories of farewell songs

Pour down like gentle rain.

Wash off our sins and wrongs

And make us what we were again!

**

Be a bit more than frivolous nostalgia

Stuck in this vicissitude of life: –

We don’t have our visions clear

Gasping for breath in this hopeless strife!

**

Those days when we sang with no fear,

The iron resolves we wore as crowns-

Now like fallen kings in disarray so sheer,

We’re going down in leaps and bounds !

**

In the sea of broken glass

We stand bloodied to the core.

Doomed in the abyss of hell,

We’re so very far from shore.

**

And tears trickle down our eyes

As the songs hit our senses

The ones we sang while we bid goodbye

Hoping to make it big immense!

**

In the race to the pinnacle

We so lost our way!

What we set out to achieve

Never saw the light of the day!

**

And as we walk down the memory lane

We brush the dust from our suits so grey …

Still we raise a toast to our glory days again,

We live to fight another day!

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Emotions … too much or too less?? …

Take away all that you feel is right.

I am like the silent stone at the end of the lane!

Say all that your insides crave to say:-

I have lost the track of time God knows since when …

You are right as you always are,

Break the shackles let the teardrops rain;

Throw me a thousand shards:-

Stupefied and numb, I want to feel human again …

 

And I couldn’t but reflect:-

That there were so many of them, chained with disdain

Agonizingly merciless complicated situations,

I could care less and so you would:-

They proved more than just frivolous insinuations,

Of a pandemonium of life, like a mess,

That eventually ripped me off my sensations!

 Was I blind to all your tears, your countless fears?

Or was I a black hole when it came to emotional manifestations?

 

Standing neck-deep into the abyss of hell,

Tried have I not, to sort out, to fight!

I reached out for your hand with all my heart

Only to realize that you were no longer by my side!

Did you feel the same about me, oh you must have!

As we gained distance with each and every stride –

The melodrama, the freak shows radically increased,

As every day and every moment, a part of us died!

 

Now it’s all cold, now it’s all done and dusted …

There’s nothing left inside …

Our signs proclaim our separation via

A piece of paper – the blood-stained bonafide!

Still this one last time that our paths have crossed,

But like mutes inarticulate, I stand speechless as I guide

My stares wayward, my face drenched with fake camaraderie ….

I don’t feel a thing, up did the emotions dry!

 

But then why does my heart scream:- 

Take away all that you feel is right.

I am like the silent stone at the end of the lane!

Say all that your insides crave to say:-

I have lost the track of time God knows since when …

You are right as you always are,

Break the shackles let the teardrops rain;

Throw me a thousand shards:-

Stupefied and numb, I want to feel human again …

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A Lone Loon Prattles …..

I am walking down the road.

It’s just another day.

There’s a zephyr blowing.

I am so lost in the fray

With my mind that has gone astray!

 

Adversities have taken their toll

On my life as there have been

So many I have lost the count.

Oh! I would have loved to win:-

The battles lost, so brutal, so devastating!

 

I was looking here and there

Searching for that very place

Where amidst every other pain

I had found solace.

But now I somehow fail to trace.

 

They say go on and keep trying.

But happiness passes in a wink of an eye!

How much ever I hold back,

How much ever I try,

It eludes me and bids me good bye!

 

I see the same angel in my dream.

She promises to teach me first

That magic trick which would erase

Memories of my wretched past-

I wake up to realize that the dream didn’t last!

 

I look at my shadow, obeying my every move.

Realize that the light of life hasn’t fainted yet.

I have to pick myself up.

All that I deserve I have to get.

Enough of the lonely tears that I’ve shed!

 

If only I could get blessed,

With friendship and love around;

With a tiny help I can breathe,

The sweet smell of joy profound;

Oh How I wish to turn things around!

 

Knocked on the doors to no avail;

Tried hard to gel in;

I want you but oh you don’t?

It’s the same story all over again!

I did try so hard, but in vain!

 

And somewhere along the lane

Again I found myself all alone.

Bewildered by the fake smiles around-

Lost amidst the ocean of unknown!

Ah! The silent walk back to oblivion!

 

Drenched of all the emotions,

The black-hole heart of mine;

Eat drink work and sleep.

A meticulous routine one of a kind;

A senseless body trudges with a helpless mind!

 

I am still walking down the road.

It’s just another day.

There’s a zephyr blowing.

I am so lost in the fray

With my mind that has gone astray!

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Poignant Reality

With troubled waters I’m bathed in my reality.

Solace is far-away, far beyond my sanity.

Hurt was before, now they’ve gone numb.

Some wounds don’t heal, to them you succumb.

 

They say we’ve equal shares of joy and grief –

Sometimes back, even I had this belief!

In liar’s paradise truth is a farce!

In mine, happiness’ an illusion, life’s a curse.

 

All set to go over to the other side –

I feel I’m the silent hum before the tide,

Tormented and tortured but not yet freed –

Waiting for the end, is that what I need?

 

Heavenly pleasures are supposedly awaiting me.

But the night before the morning seems like eternity.

Loneliness has become the mother of all adversities.

I am His hapless child, bereft of all the niceties.

 

Trying to gauge that there’s still a heartbeat!

Trapped in this body decaying bit by bit;

No wonder hope has escaped through the back door.

How much can one take, how much more?

 

All the love and happiness filling up life’s kit,

All the pleasures and luxuries garnered in it,

I’m sure, they’re all down there locked somewhere –

Search, if you may, for me, the key’s not there!

 

I laugh at my predicament, how dare I?

If only I had been a bird, I would fly –

Away from all the misery and helplessness

So far away that even He cannot trace.

 

So I bleed and I cry in my wait for salvation.

To be at peace, oh how much I crave, the sweet sensation

That has eluded me, despicable me, time and again

As I hold my breath for the final walk down the lane.

 

P.S. – Chalked out from the grim words of someone close to me during his final days before leukemia got the better of him …. 15 years now … but I still can’tforget those words … RIP brother!

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