Tag Archives: grief

Sigh!

There have been golden days, so beautiful

We had held hands and walked the miles

Together …

 

There have been raging storms, merciless

We have stemmed the flow of water, stopped it from gushing in

Together …

                                      

Oh those moments of serenity,

Wrapped around our conjoined hearts as we trudged along

Together …

 

Time ticked on with a vicious speed

And now that I am shriveled with this disease:-

Cannot help but I am aged

As I read through the final page!

Am I wrong for not wanting you with me in this?

You can shout but I am not that selfish!

Your tears make me bleed but together no more

As the raging waters splash across the shores,

In search of solace I look right in your eyes,

And that makes it so hard to say goodbye!

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Poignant Reality

With troubled waters I’m bathed in my reality.

Solace is far-away, far beyond my sanity.

Hurt was before, now they’ve gone numb.

Some wounds don’t heal, to them you succumb.

 

They say we’ve equal shares of joy and grief –

Sometimes back, even I had this belief!

In liar’s paradise truth is a farce!

In mine, happiness’ an illusion, life’s a curse.

 

All set to go over to the other side –

I feel I’m the silent hum before the tide,

Tormented and tortured but not yet freed –

Waiting for the end, is that what I need?

 

Heavenly pleasures are supposedly awaiting me.

But the night before the morning seems like eternity.

Loneliness has become the mother of all adversities.

I am His hapless child, bereft of all the niceties.

 

Trying to gauge that there’s still a heartbeat!

Trapped in this body decaying bit by bit;

No wonder hope has escaped through the back door.

How much can one take, how much more?

 

All the love and happiness filling up life’s kit,

All the pleasures and luxuries garnered in it,

I’m sure, they’re all down there locked somewhere –

Search, if you may, for me, the key’s not there!

 

I laugh at my predicament, how dare I?

If only I had been a bird, I would fly –

Away from all the misery and helplessness

So far away that even He cannot trace.

 

So I bleed and I cry in my wait for salvation.

To be at peace, oh how much I crave, the sweet sensation

That has eluded me, despicable me, time and again

As I hold my breath for the final walk down the lane.

 

P.S. – Chalked out from the grim words of someone close to me during his final days before leukemia got the better of him …. 15 years now … but I still can’tforget those words … RIP brother!

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The Brooding Magpie …

Money can’t really buy         Joy and happiness as I

Stand amid the riches galore         With your face in my eyes …

And I don’t know why         Your thoughts make me cry,

I feel helpless but         To smile I indeed try …

 

Ignore me and no! I’m not high!

I am just a brooding old magpie!

I am just a griever with hapless silent sighs!

 

I failed to realize         You were the one in disguise,

In my pursuit to fill my purse       I let you go; I am the darned unwise!

And no words can ever suffice       As every moment a part of me dies;

The loss that I incurred …         I did pay the heavy price …

 

Ignore me, oh! you want to know why?

I am just a brooding old magpie!

I am just a griever with hapless silent sighs!

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Confessions of a Wounded Soul

Dreaded nightmares launch a scathing attack

On my subconscious craving dreams sweet!

There’s a lot of crash and burn around

Futile efforts to find peace, I can’t, not even a bit!

 

The clenching fists of depression

Bludgeon my senses with brutality profound,

Breaking the shackles seems impossible

In so much negativity I find myself drowned!

 

The failures of the past create a raging fire

Gutted emotionally, I am hopelessly fragile;

And I thought that my hopeful endeavors

Would keep me agile for an extra mile!

 

Baffled and bewildered, I plead to my creator.

That’s the only option left to me now.

The age old perception ingrained deep within the heart

That the ethereal savior would save me somehow!

 

Swimming up the dark depths of the abyss

That has engulfed my life to the fullest:-

Such a daunting proposition, as helpless I stand;

One last fight; I have to give my best.

 

The ruthless falls did break my back

But I refuse to die, I refuse to die!

A ray of hope, a hand of mercy …oh I so crave!

A brave-heart I’m not, but to hang on I’ll try!

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Goodbye!

She watched him being lowered down in the casket,

As he helplessly lay down, still as a stone;

With a cigar in his breast pocket and a bottle of rum by his side

These would be his only companions from now on,

Now that he’s gone!

 

That he had raised her was an understatement;

He was the best father in her eyes.

Catering to all her needs and showering her with love profound

He was always there, since her mother’s demise.

Oh! How much her heart cries!

 

She could feel an excruciating pain

Like a thousand knives rupturing her heart!

But tears betrayed her as she stood there entranced,

And they thought she was hiding it rather smart:-

Inside, she was torn apart!

 

She felt guilty as she wanted it to end!

The sickness did rob him off his life’s bliss.

The agonizing, never ending battle with the devil’s very own, cancer!

She hated seeing him wrench in pain that would never ease

Now, he rested in peace!

 

There in the casket, there was he, so serene, so calm,

He was at his handsome best, like every day!

And like always she felt that the blue tuxedo suited him the best.

One last dance with her on his feet … Alas! No way!

As he was away!

 

She kept on expecting that he would wake up.

Stroke his moustache and sport a beaming smile.

And she would run to him with all her heart and take refuge in his arms,

If only he could stay with her for a while

And walk another mile!

 

And then he was lost in the soil and mire.

Lost forever, much to her anguish as she sighed!

The wind blew as she poured in the last drops of earth on to him.

All chocked up, she uttered after an agonizing try:-

“Daddy … Goodbye!

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