Tag Archives: Death

Monsters

She stood contemplating
In the tranquil of
The baleful night.
Goodness got dissolved
In the dark depths of
Immorality and irrationality –
They were but decadent shadows!
Growing stronger in her head
With every tick of the clock
And there she was
Creating monsters
With a broken heart
And a troubled mind!
With conflicted ideals
And misunderstood emotions!
Ridiculed by people!
Ruptured by life!
Abandoned by her kin!
Alone in a hopeless strife!
A misplaced veneer
Of self-righteousness
Imbuing her beyond the realms of sanity
With vehement force
As they aggravated
Their presence inside her …
The devilish fiends!
Wilder, heavier, stronger
With blood on their hands
And vile on their faces;
Without further ado
They took control
And she maneuvered herself
To decide his destiny!

Him, it had to be him.
The smiling face angered her!
The sense of responsibility
Was too much to bear!
How could he be so proper?
How could he be so peaceful?
Every detail of his existence
Erupted flames of envy
And her soul burned
Her world of anarchy
Was threatened enough
To wake up the evil inside!
Time to let go …
Time to wreck havoc …
The monsters were summoned,
Breathing malice,
Itching to cut lose,
As she closed her eyes,
Shook her head,
Tightened her jaws
And wrapped her fingers
Tightly around that shiny object!

In that pitch black alley
The deadpan stillness
Was broken by the howling screams!
Blood trickled down
The garbage man’s neck
As he collapsed on the trash
Which he was about to take out.
The wind hissed.
The dogs barked.
The stink of the muck around
Surpassed the odour of sanctity.
As he breathed his last!

She was nowhere in sight!

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Diseased … Deceased

Let go off me
At least now
Now that I have died,
Can you spare my remains?
Oh you evil darkness
Take a sabbatical
Have you not
Had enough
Sucking the life
Out of me
Since my very existence!
Clinging
To my unformed identity
Ever since I was breathing!
You penetrated your way,
Didn’t you,
Like a truth omnipresent
Inside me
Persistently Subsistent
Feasting away on my soul
My flesh, my blood
And I meekly surrendered
Bleak and bewildered,
A puppet
To your forceful dominance!
My heart pierced
Over and over again
I died a thousand deaths
Before giving up
While you cherished
My epitaph: –
This was but a crown
On your head.

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Sigh!

There have been golden days, so beautiful

We had held hands and walked the miles

Together …

 

There have been raging storms, merciless

We have stemmed the flow of water, stopped it from gushing in

Together …

                                      

Oh those moments of serenity,

Wrapped around our conjoined hearts as we trudged along

Together …

 

Time ticked on with a vicious speed

And now that I am shriveled with this disease:-

Cannot help but I am aged

As I read through the final page!

Am I wrong for not wanting you with me in this?

You can shout but I am not that selfish!

Your tears make me bleed but together no more

As the raging waters splash across the shores,

In search of solace I look right in your eyes,

And that makes it so hard to say goodbye!

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Poignant Reality

With troubled waters I’m bathed in my reality.

Solace is far-away, far beyond my sanity.

Hurt was before, now they’ve gone numb.

Some wounds don’t heal, to them you succumb.

 

They say we’ve equal shares of joy and grief –

Sometimes back, even I had this belief!

In liar’s paradise truth is a farce!

In mine, happiness’ an illusion, life’s a curse.

 

All set to go over to the other side –

I feel I’m the silent hum before the tide,

Tormented and tortured but not yet freed –

Waiting for the end, is that what I need?

 

Heavenly pleasures are supposedly awaiting me.

But the night before the morning seems like eternity.

Loneliness has become the mother of all adversities.

I am His hapless child, bereft of all the niceties.

 

Trying to gauge that there’s still a heartbeat!

Trapped in this body decaying bit by bit;

No wonder hope has escaped through the back door.

How much can one take, how much more?

 

All the love and happiness filling up life’s kit,

All the pleasures and luxuries garnered in it,

I’m sure, they’re all down there locked somewhere –

Search, if you may, for me, the key’s not there!

 

I laugh at my predicament, how dare I?

If only I had been a bird, I would fly –

Away from all the misery and helplessness

So far away that even He cannot trace.

 

So I bleed and I cry in my wait for salvation.

To be at peace, oh how much I crave, the sweet sensation

That has eluded me, despicable me, time and again

As I hold my breath for the final walk down the lane.

 

P.S. – Chalked out from the grim words of someone close to me during his final days before leukemia got the better of him …. 15 years now … but I still can’tforget those words … RIP brother!

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If Only …

If only I could tell you

How much I have lost!

If only I could tell you

What has been the dear cost

Of all the battles that I’ve fought

As I stand alone bereft

Of all the niceties that had once defined me:-

Would you take me for real?

 

If only I could tell you

The joy I feel when you’re near!

If only I could tell you

How much I hold you dear!

Words cannot define my feelings

That I have for you so sheer

The love bursting out of my fragile senses:-

Would you let me in just for once?

 

Alas! I cannot express and I don’t know why …

With all my earnest endeavors, I try and I try …

Cut me open and I bet you shall see:-

The one who loves you, the real me!

Give me your love, sweetheart, let it rain,

As I make my way to the final walk down the lane …

 

If only I could tell you

That I’m there only for few days;

If only I could tell you

The hole in my heart has got me swayed;

No matter how much money I pay

It can’t get fixed as I wait for the obvious …

Would you take me to your arms and kiss me once?

 

If only I could tell you

That every moment I crave to be with you!

If only I could tell you

My love’s as pure as a nascent drop of dew!

I want to share with you my deepest darkest fears;

I want to share with you my struggles through the years;

Life is short and I laugh at my predicament:-

Would you be by my side and let me live again?

 

Alas! I cannot express and I don’t know why …

With all my earnest endeavors, I try and I try …

Cut me open and I bet you shall see:-

The one who loves you, the real me!

Give me your love, sweetheart, let it rain,

As I make my way to the final walk down the lane …

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The Gardener

Image

She nursed it with her own hands

The garden attired with roses red

Dripping with the freshness she sowed

The freshness that defined her soul!

The lavenders and the rosemary-s

The chamomiles bathed in their divine yellow

And white, and the coneflower her favorite

With all the purple garnered in it …

She nurtured, she cared, o sweet mother

Taking care of her children

She shared a bond with them one of a kind …

She couldn’t just leave them behind:-

So there she lies with them all

Guarded by her delphinium

With the lilies watching over her,

She rests beneath the silent veneer

Of the garden of love she wove,

The heaven on earth she instilled!

Hallowed mother rests in peace,

As the drops of rain fondles

Her beloved flowers, blossoming with elan!

Her Hesperides garden, so beautiful!

She silently watches over them …

She silently watches with them …

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Death of an Alcoholic …

The right never seemed right

For I was never sober;

I swaggered on in my life in splurge,

I was in fifth gear!

The pomp and the splendor

Was actually pandemonium:-

But little did I understand,

Inebriated, I was self-damned

Boozing my way to the morning again

Red and black tarnishing my eyes,

The alcohol sucked my life’s breath

More than I could ever surmise!

And I thought I was celebrating life

Dismissing the hurt and the pain with glee

As I drank to my ignorance

Bathed in my sordid moral apathy!

The ethanolic smog grasped my soul!

Being giddy gave me solace!

Drenched in vile intoxication

I was the ignominy on the face of grace!

And that was the moment I collapsed

I was cold and the world was quiet.

A sated heart or a disgusted subconscious

Or both of them engrossed in a fight-

Immaterial, as the malevolent alcohol

Fulfilled its destiny, accomplished its role:-

I had already drank my way to false glory

No more was in store for the savaged soul!

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