Monthly Archives: November 2012

A Realization … as I time travel to my childhood only to find a Gem!!!

At times children unknowingly speak or do things that surpass even the wisdom of an intelligent adult. Their sheer innocence dazzles even the wisest. The purity and the sincerity of their actions make us wonder why we can’t be like them. There is no sense of fear, no sense of insecurity. Amazing isn’t it that they will slowly lose them in their journey of growing up. Only a few will sustain; the lone survivors! The heroes of our otherwise ‘normal’ society! – but that is not related to the an experience that I’m going to share.

It’s just that I’ve come across few self-composed lines that fetched me few pats on my back when I used to be a kid. At that point of time it seemed as the best thing that I could have ever written. Slowly I started feeling that midst the complex words that I have deliberately used, it was really simple (alas! I was a teenager, yet to fathom that simplicity is divine!), childlike in actuality and it seemed to be a big blotch in my so called radical, trying-too-hard-to-grow-up, no-way-in-hell-I’m-a-kid-anymore mindset. Just so not in vogue, you loser, my inner self would shout! Let me pen down those words:-

I want to be a traveler

Journeying around the world;

And discern with my own eyes

What nature has to unfurl.

I should like to rise and go

Where golden apples adorn lush green trees

Where red roses cover the meadows

On a remote island, across deep blue seas!

 

I want to be a traveler

Destined for places, where mountains, great,

Have their peaks snow-capped

Touching the fulgent firmament!

Where cuckoos and nightingales sing in chorus

On a morning, bright and sunny-

Where people of various casts and creed

Live together in peace and harmony!

Never really cared about this writing to be very honest, apart from the time that I’ve had penned it down. I had forgotten only that something of this sort existed. At times clearing stuffs from unused lockers unearth golden treasures now that I stare at those two lines right at the end trying to imagine with what simplicity and sincerity I have written them. Don’t remember what emotions I had felt while doing so.  Maybe my young mind could not fathom any further experiences with regards to travelling, maybe people living in peace and harmony was something I craved to see or maybe something else. Oh! How I wish now I could really be a traveler  I feel like going back and telling that growing up teenage kid that whatever that he tried to portray through that poem would have been so cool if only it would have materialized in reality! If only;

But one thing is for sure. I did not write something so profound yet so simple embellished with so much innocence in my life. Will I ever be able to? I wonder …

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Losing a friend … and a teenage heart cries!

You danced in symphony, I sang in joy.

The sweet faced girl, the big-eyed boy.

Friends forever we mugged up the phrase,

Hoped that’s something time will not erase

From our young minds till we grow old –

It’s truly funny what future can hold!

For now as we trudge along life’s road,

Our minds are unaware of the anecdote

Where you and I danced and jived and played

And enjoyed the joyride of our childhood days!

 

With dreams in our eyes and fear in our hearts;

Unaware of what life would offer us;

Those never-ending afternoon chats,

Fooling around in the neighborhood, we spoilt brats!

And then you grew up to be a woman!

A supposed pretext for not having fun!

Your conscious mind and my childlike heart:-

I realize now why we drifted apart.

Maybe you changed and I don’t wanna know why

Remember that I stretched my hand but you bid goodbye!

 

Friendship was all that I wanted and I gave it all

Was that not enough was that too small

For your insatiable self and now I don’t have a clue –

Of the person whom you claim to be you!

Changes come and you can’t afford to be stagnated

But what can you do when its enormity leaves you flabbergasted!

I thought you were my friend, yeah it’s true,

Such an emotional fool oh how much I rue!

Maybe you had your reasons, I never understood

And my heart says there’s no way that I ever would!

 

Time has come to accept the reality;

Harsh, it is, but I will not lose my sanity;

I know good friends are so hard to get,

But no…I shouldn’t feel bad I shouldn’t regret.

One life to lead and we can be dead

Today, tomorrow or at any moment;

But as I make my way midst the world of heartless

A look back makes me miss our golden days

You will never get a friend like me my heart screams …

But will I get a friend like you, even in my wildest dreams?

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Regret

Do you know that girl who used be by my side?

The one who would hold my hand on my every stride?

Was she the one who was really meant for me?

Or was she meant for the person who I used to be?

She was the only lifesaver I had known,

Who would I look up to now that she’s gone!

Everything happens for one big reason.

What if this one was an only exception?

We were not meant to be together, is that it?

Let the emotions dry up, the truth sink in

As I bask in the glory of my yesteryears

Now that I am drowned completely in my fears;

You never knew that I gave it all to you.

As for you that was too less, too few!

Now when I can give you everything you asked for-

You’re not there; I’m left with your memories galore.

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Smitten

This song is dedicated to the romantic in me 🙂

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I feel symphony

Breathing right into me

I feel insanity

Blocking the senses in me

I feel life

So lovely so fragile

I feel happy

You seem to be right within me

 

What the hell has happened to me I don’t have a clue?

Everything’s blossoming out in a golden hue

Am I in love, love, love, love, love?

 

I feel solace

When I get your touch

I feel pain

When I miss you so much

I feel lost

Engaged to your thoughts

I feel peace

When I find you around

 

What the hell has happened to me I don’t have a clue?

Everything’s blossoming out in a golden hue

Am I in love, love, love, love, love?

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A random experience … that meant a lot!

At times you create something and you hardly realize at that juncture what that truly means. I did also not know the amount of raw truth the following lines portray until and unless I felt them through my life. I looked at these words after a very inexplicably excruciating phase of my life and got that helping hand that I was madly in search of, not consciously though.

I chanted the lines again and again and again just to realize that they have become a part of my subconscious and I am ready to stand up and face the world.  And they go like:-

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This was what it was meant to be.

Let moments of sadness turn to glee.

Starting afresh is not that easy;

But I’ll try and succeed maybe.

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Hardly words of inspiration or infusing moral courage, don’t you think. Few simple words desperately mapped together in synchronization along with some decent effort to ensure that the lines rhyme – yes, agreed. It’s true. But sometimes you find hope and belief in places where you least expect. Sometimes few simple things make a big difference. How come 4 simple lines that I had randomly penned down in a matter of minutes ended up being the mantra behind my getting back to my feet? Inexplicable to me let alone for the others. But then, can’t ignore the profound influence these words have had in my current phase of life, can I?

Note:-You never know something worthwhile that you do in your life, which does not mean that much can at times mean a lot you and inspire you later when you revisit them via your memories, or your actions.

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Angel-Eyed

Words came out all in one gush!

Oh how could I stop, I was in a rush!

I never knew I could be so spontaneous.

But never have I seen someone so gorgeous.

And I completely lost it for that time being

Contento my heart was . . . and oh did it not sing!

I was so agonizingly full of your praise-

Your eyes your beauty and your solemn grace;

It was audacious not get mesmerized-

You heart-stopper; you angel-eyed;

 

Time stood still as entranced I was

And my heart surrendered with a sweet applause

Of your beauty and divine magnificence!

Motionless body of mine could hardly sense!

That all my words betraying my feelings

Were perhaps mere frivolous things

To you but that hardly mattered as I,

Enjoyed that solitary moment in my

Otherwise dismal life and out my heart cried –

“You heart-stopper; you angel-eyed”

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Yes … She has moved on!

Maybe the towers of diligence really fell down.

Maybe there weren’t any jewels left in her crown.

How can she be angry and pretend not to frown?

All the feelings bubbling up, how can they just drown!

 

Did anybody understand she has had enough?

Did anybody sympathize when times were rough?

Peace seemed a farce, happiness a bluff-

Down and out she was, but she toughened up.-

 

It takes an agonizing lot for a woman to move on-

Why didn’t one bet on that when she couldn’t just hang on?

How much can you bleed when life pricks you like a thorn?

It’s like an everlasting night while you’re waiting for the dawn!

 

Tremendous was her courage, tremendously insane!

Oh! How much has she loved and cared but in vain!

A mountain she climbed and what did she gain-

Self-esteem and a lot of heart though teardrops did rain.

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